FROM THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, via The Raw Story:

Raw Story: President Bush said Monday that U.S. troops in Afghanistan will remain under U.S. control despite Afghan President Hamid Karzai's request for more authority over them.

Liberty Street: We're in charge here, Hamid. Remember who got you elected, okay? And they're our troops anyway; not yours.
[...]
RS: Karzai wants more control over U.S. military operations in his country, custody of Afghan prisoners held by the United States and more assistance in fighting opium trade.

LS: Leave the controls to us, Hamid. We know how to drive this car. And they're our prisoners anyway; not yours. You can take care of the opium trade. They're your farmers; not ours.
[...]
RS: "It's important for the Afghan people to understand that we have a strategic vision about our relationship with Afghanistan," Bush said.

LS: "It's important for the Afghan people to understand who's in charge here. And it's not the guy with the funny-looking hat on his head."

RS: He said the United States and Afghanistan had signed a "strategic partnership" that establishes "regular high-level exchanges on ... economic issues of mutual interest. "

LS: Hey, Hammy. Don't worry about the oil and gas reserves. We'll take care of those. You just do something about that opium trade.

RS: "We will consult with Afghanistan if it perceives its territorial integrity, independence or security is at risk," Bush said.

LS: "We will take out any motherf**king bastards who try to horn in on American sovereignty in Afghanistan."
[...]
RS: Ahead of their meeting, Karzai said that he wanted more control of U.S. forces in his country and to take over custody of the hundreds of Afghans detained in military jails in Afghanistan and at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, during and after the 2001 U.S. invasion that ousted the repressive Taliban regime.

LS: What's the problem, Ham? Is there something wrong with your hearing? I said, we're in charge of U.S. forces in your country and Afghan detainees in your country and Afghan detainees at Guantanamo.

RS: Karzai began his U.S. stay by sharply denying a reported State Department cable that said he has not worked strongly enough to curtail production of opium, the raw material for heroin. The cable, from the U.S. Embassy in Kabul to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, said the U.S. crackdown there has not been very effective, in part because Karzai "has been unwilling to assert strong leadership," The New York Times reported Sunday.

LS: Ham, you're the democratically elected leader of Afghanistan. You've got to learn to act like a man and assert strong leadership. Just remember that you cannot have control over U.S. troops in Afghanistan or over Afghan prisoners in Afghanistan or over Afghan prisoners in Guantanamo or over the oil and gas reserves. You can have control over the opium trade. You must assert strong leadership over that, Hammy boy.

RS: Karzai commented on recent reports of abuse of Afghan prisoners by their American captors. "We are of course sad about that," he said, speaking in fluent English. But, he added, "It does not reflect on the American people."

LS: When I say we are sad, I know what I'm saying, and I mean what I say. I know what sad means. I speak fluent English. If I wanted to say I was outraged, I would. I know the difference between sad and outraged. I'm not outraged. I'm sad. It's just one of those things. It's nobody's fault. Please. I know who's in charge. I don't want to step out of my place.