JAMES LILEKS puts on his stand-up comedian act as he throws out one-liners about the reports of torture and prisoner abuse at Guantanamo.

Gitmo is the gulag equivalent of a Ben Affleck movie: no one's seen it, but everyone has an opinion about it. Given all the rhetoric that's been spilled about this sorta-kinda-not-really Death Camp, it's time we re-examine the facts, and remind ourselves what's really at stake. Herewith a summation.

Q: What is Gitmo?

A: Contrary to what some suggest, it does not stand for "Git mo' Peking chicken for Muhammad, he wants a second portion." It stands for "Guantanamo," a facility the United States built to see if the left would ever care about human rights abuses in Cuba. The experiment has apparently been successful.

And it goes on like that.

Lilek's point about human rights abuses in Cuba is particularly well-taken, I think. Why should Americans waste their time worrying about our detainees tearing out their hair (literally) as they gradually go mad while being chained hand and foot in fetal positions, in the midst of their own urine and excrement, in cells where the temperature is well over 100 degrees, for 18-24 hours? The exact same thing is going on in Cuba!

Lileks is right about one thing, though. Americans need reminding about what is at stake. What is at stake is our souls.