MELISSA HAD TO RETIRE TO THE FAINTING COUCH after reading the news that the Pentagon has admitted to spying on antiwar protesters.

Oh my, oh my, Martha-Ann. I just can't believe such a thing would happen in our fine country. Bring me a fan and a mint julip, before I succumb to a vicious case of the vapors!

I don't know. I feel some liberal moonbat paranoid conspiracy theorizing coming on. What if DOD just told us they removed the names, but didn't really do it? Or what if they did remove the names and put them back on next week? I hate to believe anything the Bushies say, because they'll just use me and then crush my heart again.